Skip to content

JERUSALEM GAZETTE

DECEMBER 14

                                                       HOMELESS

Among the homeless in Bethlehem we found a very pregnant young lady and her attentive companion whom she called Joseph.  It seems they had had walked all the way from Nazareth to Bethlehem, a trip that took five days.  One wonders if this is the day she’ll birth her baby.

Bethlehem News Flash:

                                                         SOLD OUT


All week long the town square at Bethlehem has been bustling with huge crowdws of people.  All the innkeepers have put out their NO ROOMS signs.  One industrious innkeeper turned his cattle cave into a lace to house a very pregnant young woman.  Did he get a few coins for his service or was he responding to her obvious need?  Our reliabe sources failed to cover those details.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE

December 12

Nazareth:  eight and 3/4 months later

                                            
                                             CAESAR’S CENSUS


Caesar Augustus has order every Israeli to return to their birth city to register with the Roman authorities.  Israeli’s are happy over this Roman order.  Although it’s near the time for her baby to be born Mary insists on going with Joseph to Bethlehem.  Why?

JERUSALEM GAZETTE

December 13

                                                         ALL IN THE FAMILY



Bad news travels fast.  Why didn’t Joseph, follow the custom of his day and look up his relatives when he got to Bethlehem?  Jews are renown for taking care of their kin.  Mary, feeling uncomfortable about prying questions concerning her pregnancy perhaps preferred to stay elsewhere, or maybe Joseph was in no mood to have his decision concerning his marriage to Mary questioned.

At any rate they find themselves in the midst of a sea of people in the village square.  Will she give birth to her child on the streets of Bethlehem?

JERUSALEM GAZETTE

December 11th

                                                         MARY COMES HOME

EXCLUSIVE:  INTERVIEW WITH MARY

We caught up with Mary today as she was visiting with Joseph.  “Mary,” we said,  “fill us in on what is going on with you.”

“I stayed with Elizabeth until she gave birth to John.  Then I came home to check with Joseph about our wedding plans.  She paused.  As you can see I’m pregnant.”

“We understand Joseph says the baby isn’t his.”

“He’s right.  The baby is not his.  Joseph has just finished sharing some good news with me.  While he was considering his options about how to deal with my pregnancy he was awaken from his sleep by an angel.  The angel told him to go ahead with his marriage plans with me and assured him I was being truthful.  Joseph accepted the angel’s words and he’s now supportive.”

” Thank you, Mary.  I have a feeling we haven’t heard the last about you are your baby-to-be.”

JERUSALEM GAZETTE December 10

December 10

                                                      MISSING PERSON DEPARTMENT

Our reliable source tells us Mary spent three months in Ein Karem with Elizabeth.  She didn’t leave until Elizabeth gave birth to a son whom they named John.  When asked why she left home so abruptly Mary said,  “I needed to check out Gabriel’s words about Elizabeth.  My visit with Elizabeth confirmed my belief that with God nothing is impossible!”  She excused herself from our interview and said she was on her way to talk with Joseph.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE DECEMBER 9TH

DECEMBER 9
                                                      
                                                             MARY  RUMORS

Unsubstandiated rumors tell us Mary is visiting  in Ein Karem with her cousin, Elizabeth who is seventy years old and pregnant.  What can a fourteen yer old girl and and an old woman have in common?  Rest assured we’ll keep probing until we get some answers.  Our special team is trying hard to have an interview with Mary.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE, DECEMBER 8

December 8

                                                      MISSING

Mary has run away.  She left no note nor did she tell anyone where she was going.  We can only speculate how long she’ll be away.  Her parents are  worried she might be killed by a wild animal or a robber. It’ unheard of for young girls to go traipsing off on their own!
Poor Joseph feels like he’s been left at the altar.  Those who know him best say he’s broken hearted.

If you know anything about the whereabouts of Mary please notify our staff at the Jerusalem Gazette.  Our number is 777-0666.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE Dec. 7th

December 7th

Mary is distraught.  No one believes her, neither her parents nor her intended husband, Joseph.  However, it was noted her eyes lit up when she recalled the words of Gabriel, “Your cousin Elizabeth, once barren,  is pregnant.”

A faint smile swept across Mary’s beautiful face.  “I’m about to make a bold move,” she whispered.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE December 6th

December 6th

Mary isn’t helping her cause one iota.  She claims her pregnancy is the direct result of a visit to her home by an angel(?).  Tongues are wagging.  Is the angel whom Mary calls Gabriel the father?  Mary says he isn’t.  Then who is the guy who impregnated Mary?  We’ve got lots of questions but as for now no answers.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE December 5th

Mary, alleged to be the daughter of Joachim and Anne, albeit some say her father is Heil, has been planning for months for her upcoming marriage to Joseph.  Since Joseph lays no claim to being the child’s father, one wonders what course he’ll take.  Some of his strict Pharisee friends are urging him to have her stoned.  “You should make an example of her,” they say, “so other young women will know we won’t tolerate such hanky panky.”  Joseph is looking over all his options.