Skip to content

JERUSALEM GAZETTE

December 11th

                                                         MARY COMES HOME

EXCLUSIVE:  INTERVIEW WITH MARY

We caught up with Mary today as she was visiting with Joseph.  “Mary,” we said,  “fill us in on what is going on with you.”

“I stayed with Elizabeth until she gave birth to John.  Then I came home to check with Joseph about our wedding plans.  She paused.  As you can see I’m pregnant.”

“We understand Joseph says the baby isn’t his.”

“He’s right.  The baby is not his.  Joseph has just finished sharing some good news with me.  While he was considering his options about how to deal with my pregnancy he was awaken from his sleep by an angel.  The angel told him to go ahead with his marriage plans with me and assured him I was being truthful.  Joseph accepted the angel’s words and he’s now supportive.”

” Thank you, Mary.  I have a feeling we haven’t heard the last about you are your baby-to-be.”

JERUSALEM GAZETTE December 10

December 10

                                                      MISSING PERSON DEPARTMENT

Our reliable source tells us Mary spent three months in Ein Karem with Elizabeth.  She didn’t leave until Elizabeth gave birth to a son whom they named John.  When asked why she left home so abruptly Mary said,  “I needed to check out Gabriel’s words about Elizabeth.  My visit with Elizabeth confirmed my belief that with God nothing is impossible!”  She excused herself from our interview and said she was on her way to talk with Joseph.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE DECEMBER 9TH

DECEMBER 9
                                                      
                                                             MARY  RUMORS

Unsubstandiated rumors tell us Mary is visiting  in Ein Karem with her cousin, Elizabeth who is seventy years old and pregnant.  What can a fourteen yer old girl and and an old woman have in common?  Rest assured we’ll keep probing until we get some answers.  Our special team is trying hard to have an interview with Mary.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE, DECEMBER 8

December 8

                                                      MISSING

Mary has run away.  She left no note nor did she tell anyone where she was going.  We can only speculate how long she’ll be away.  Her parents are  worried she might be killed by a wild animal or a robber. It’ unheard of for young girls to go traipsing off on their own!
Poor Joseph feels like he’s been left at the altar.  Those who know him best say he’s broken hearted.

If you know anything about the whereabouts of Mary please notify our staff at the Jerusalem Gazette.  Our number is 777-0666.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE Dec. 7th

December 7th

Mary is distraught.  No one believes her, neither her parents nor her intended husband, Joseph.  However, it was noted her eyes lit up when she recalled the words of Gabriel, “Your cousin Elizabeth, once barren,  is pregnant.”

A faint smile swept across Mary’s beautiful face.  “I’m about to make a bold move,” she whispered.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE December 6th

December 6th

Mary isn’t helping her cause one iota.  She claims her pregnancy is the direct result of a visit to her home by an angel(?).  Tongues are wagging.  Is the angel whom Mary calls Gabriel the father?  Mary says he isn’t.  Then who is the guy who impregnated Mary?  We’ve got lots of questions but as for now no answers.

JERUSALEM GAZETTE December 5th

Mary, alleged to be the daughter of Joachim and Anne, albeit some say her father is Heil, has been planning for months for her upcoming marriage to Joseph.  Since Joseph lays no claim to being the child’s father, one wonders what course he’ll take.  Some of his strict Pharisee friends are urging him to have her stoned.  “You should make an example of her,” they say, “so other young women will know we won’t tolerate such hanky panky.”  Joseph is looking over all his options.